Tell me about him

Jarring images
obscured attachment
complicated mediation

self sabotage
subconscious defenses
protecting, bracing

dreams of agony
and reunion
intertwined as deprivation 

help me remember

Snowflakes are hexagonal

Echoes from the past,

Shouts from the future,

I float downward indefinitely.

Unable to fully perceive my surroundings,

My most sincere efforts merely alter my unknown course.

Stability is relative.

Clarity is a privilege.

My medium is the air

In which the only matter to push against

Is known to give way.

And so it seems my existence 

Is to gain substance 

While moving.

The fate of the unrealized

Shock

surging from chest to face,

Shadows

create fog within.

Buzz

grows inside,

the drug of suppression pervading.

Piercing

through the fog

are feelings, oozing grief and pain.

Thoughts of abandonment,

Love that ends?

Such a living thing cannot be overlooked.

Vitality

that fought for just a chance

festers

burns.

Above my heart

the gashes pry,

releasing signs of life.

In rest it still escapes,

streams of maroon.

The inward...

exposed,

only scars remain.

City in the mountains

Reality

Nausea.

A hand

reaching inward,

clasping viscera,

and ringing it out.

A clash between

love and pain,

trust and deceit.

Disavowal

blew away

with the wind.

Acceptance.

Empathy

The path an eternity, 

time had lost its grasp.

Unbearable weight

...incarnate

within intertwined fingers

Had nature no discretion?

twisted.

robbed.

I had seen

but did not understand.
My own weight 
insurmountable

I looked again,

again,

and again

and finally felt
the tears
...suppressed.
concealed.

the weight

resting within those fingers.

Mosaic

Puzzled.

Broken shapes

unable to be reformed

...remain disjoint.

A witness

but not an advocate.

A spectator,

no role to play?

powerless?

bereft.